issue 3. reverie
July 2024: On the strange poetry of YouTube comments
REVERIE. From from Old French reverie, resverie "revelry, rejoicing, wantonness, raving, delirium" (Modern French rêverie), from resver "to dream, wander, rave" (12c., Modern French rêver), a word of uncertain origin (also the source of the word “rave”).
While revising Draft 4 of my YA portal fantasy book Pawn, I listened to a lot of fantasy movie soundtracks. Like…a lot of fantasy movie soundtracks.
Sometimes I stuck to the soundtracks for specific movies, such as Alice in Wonderland (2010); The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (2005); and Coraline (2009). Other times, I played fantasy movie soundtrack compilations. Some of my go-to videos are “pov: you’ve entered a new fantasy world” (51 minutes long) and the simply-titled “Wonderful movie soundtracks” (nearly 1.5 hours long).
The really fascinating thing about fantasy movie soundtracks on YouTube is the comment sections (well, the music is great too, but you know what I mean). Escapism is a huge factor in why people love fantasy movies. Often they seek out the music so they can be transported straight into that other world. As a result, I love scrolling through the comments (while definitely not procrastinating on revising) and reading the stories that people had to share.
Unsurprisingly, the vast majority of commenters share memories associated with the movie. Some of these people recall the exact day they saw it in the theater. Others connect it to fond memories with friends or family. It’s also quite common to associate the movie with “better times.” Sill others share stories of how the playlist accompanied them through formative parts of their life. The most popular comment on one of my favorite fantasy soundtrack compilations is by a user who has been listening to the playlist since the age of 14; by now, she has completely memorized the order of the songs. She listened to the playlist between graduating high school and completing her final dissertation for her bachelor’s degree. She credited the playlist for making her feel like she was “the hero of my own story.”
The other type of commenters are writers—not necessarily people who want to be authors, like you or me, but writers regardless. They typically write fanfiction or original pieces inspired by the music. Sometimes these are stream-of-conscious and very similar to diary entries. Other times, people write more descriptive prose. These types of comments are a wonderful way to connect with people across distance and time. You’re listening to the same music that they listened to when they wrote the comment; you can feel the same emotion that they felt. These comments might be as short as a piece of dialogue or as long as a passage of prose. All of them are equally valuable because they reveal as much about the movie and music as they do about the commenter and the reader.
Another subset of commenters express their wish to live in fantasy movies. Sometimes these confessions are more descriptive than others. Yet all of them say, in one way or another: “I do not belong in this world yet I cannot belong to another.” It’s a strangely relatable paradox. There are various reasons why people want to escape to different worlds, but most of them can be traced from dissatisfaction or a sense of unbelonging. The tragic part is that we can only truly escape in our minds.
As I listened to these playlists, I had the idea to write a “found poem” from some of my favorite comments. (A found poem is when a writer takes existing texts and alters/reorders them to be in a poetic form. I highly recommend it—it’s one of my favorite writing exercises.)
The following passage is my found poem. All of these words were written by people on this playlist. I did not alter their comments except to choose certain lines. Text from different comments are separated by backslashes.
For as long as I can remember, I had stories to tell. /
My soul screams / Against my pathetic reality /
I don’t belong in it and I have always known so /
The spell of the symphony / could lead to love /
Only wizards and magic and moving castles /
We stayed until we could see the moon greet us /
Will I ever touch that land again? / We weren’t meant to be /
birds that were longing to flap their wings. / Be, my tears; fall aplenty /
Of the little ways we die…Of the moments stuck in time /
Just the gifts the gods gave us millennia ago /
Wishes are like lies. They never become true. Unless…? /
But that is all these words are: a dream.
While creating this poem, I was struck by how these comment sections display a certain kind of camaraderie. All of us, in one way or another, wish for our reverie to become our reality.
Instrumental music is the only music I can listen to while writing because it is less likely to distract me. Because of that, movie soundtracks are ideal. While revising Pawn, I chose fantasy soundtracks specifically because they capture the desire for escapism in my Alice-in-Wonderland retelling. And with that…shall we talk a bit about my July writing progress?
craft conversations
I finished Draft 4 of Pawn! It was quite an interesting experience. Between drafts 1-3, I basically rewrote the story every time. Therefore I didn’t have substantial parts to keep from previous drafts. For Draft 4, however, I had much more to build upon what I had, both worldbuilding- and plot-wise. I particularly enjoyed fleshing out the smaller worldbuilding details. One of my favorite twists from Alice in Wonderland is a spin on the famous “Drink Me” and “Eat Me” messages. Another of my favorite twists derives from Alice Through the Looking-Glass, specifically from the scene where Alice discovers a sleeping King. As a whole, I improved the foundation for the worldbuilding and the foreshadowing for the plot twists at the end.
On the whole, Draft 4 was a challenge that I enjoyed. I usually try to give myself one-to-two day breaks when I’m working on a draft. This time around, I wrote every day. Yet I did not burn out. That’s because having something new to focus on every time I sat down to write kept me engaged. I also credit the (very long) list of fantasy movie soundtracks that I listened to while revising (special thanks to Danny Elfman, Harry Gregson-Williams, and Hans Zimmer).
To be honest, I have read over this draft so many times that I have no idea whether it is good anymore. I only know that it is better. For now, that will have to be enough.
For newsletter subscribers, here is an exclusive excerpt from Pawn (subject to change, of course).
My shoes sink into loamy soil. I’m standing at the entrance of an otherworldly garden.
The sky is a watery blue. Clouds drift overhead in scattered formations, as fluffy as the circus-tent-like thing that the Sheep was knitting. The scene is so picturesque, I might have stepped straight into one of Evie’s dreamy watercolor paintings. As I walk forward, I startle a flock of blue butterflies, which sweeps into the sky in a V-shaped wave.
In one corner of the garden are daisies with petals the size of airplane wings. Nearby, a patch of red roses shoot up to heights that could rival a water-tower. I wander farther inside, where bluebell flowers croon soft chiming noises. Upon closer inspection, they truly do resemble bells, with clappers gently ringing back and forth.
books, media & recs
READING: In the first half of July, I reread and annotated my favorite books in the Chronicles of Narnia series by C.S. Lewis. These were The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe; Prince Caspian; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; and The Last Battle.
C.S. Lewis dedicated Lion to his goddaughter Lucy. One of my favorite quotes is from his dedication: “But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.” This is a direct inspiration for Pawn, as one of its main themes is the concept of growing up too quickly or appearing mature for your age. Fairy tales are not childish because they span the spectrum of human emotion and thought. In fact, if a person scorns fairy tales, then that reflects their immaturity, as seen by the case of Susan Pevensie. I’ve said it a few times before, but my iteration of Alice is a direct parallel to Susan Pevensie—except that Alice has a redemption arc. Rereading these Chronicles of Narnia books really helped me get back into the mindset of writing portal fantasy for Pawn.
In keeping with the theme of reading books related to my books, I read Fairy Tale by Stephen King. The slowness of the exposition and inciting incident were surprisingly effective. Unfortunately, after that point, the slow pacing merely hindered the book. Slow pacing is a common criticism with King and I must agree with it. Even so, he knows how to craft a gripping story. Overall I liked Fairy Tale more than The Outsider (which is the first book I read by King). I loved Fairy Tale’s literary references, most notably to Jack and the Beanstalk and Something Wicked This Way Comes. I rated it 4 stars for its unique nostalgia and creativity.
I also read The Prisoner’s Throne by Holly Black. While I enjoyed it, I found myself often taken out of the narrative by lapses in the pacing and perspective. It was a 3-star read for me—not a standout, but not terrible either. I wish I had more positive things to say about it. If Black ever writes a spin-off, however, I will read it!
While I was on vacation, I reread Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. It was just as good reading it for the second time. I really appreciate how the characters are so real and flawed. It’s an addictive whirlwind of drama that is much more real than anything you could find on the Internet, because it represents the reality of musicians being mistreated and pitted against each other. Someday, I may write my own take on the harshness of the music industry…but with 2000s-era pop music instead of ‘70s rock & roll.
MUSIC: As I spent most of this newsletter going on about fantasy movie soundtracks, I’m not going to take up too much of your time here! Here are some songs I’ve been loving lately:
“The View Between Villages” by Noah Kahan
This song is just perfect—the bridge slams the accelerator and the outro coasts to a stop, reflecting the lyric of “gripping the wheel.”
“CHIHIRO” by Billie Eilish
I had this on repeat while I was revising Pawn! The ethereal, otherworldly production makes me feel underwater in the best way.
“doomsday” by Lizzy McAlpine
I genuinely think this is one of the best songs that Lizzy McAlpine has ever released. It deserves as much love as “ceilings”.
“teenage dream” by Olivia Rodrigo
I’m a little embarrassed to admit how much I’ve been listening to this song (because my college move-in and my birthday are both next month).
life updates
During most of July, I did exclusively two things: revise my book and teach swim lessons. As both of those things have come to an end, I’m going to let August be my break; I won’t return to my novel-length projects until the fall. I’ve found myself gravitating back towards poetry in the meantime—I may share some of that on Instagram or in this newsletter.
Also: I finally received a new laptop! It’s a refurbished MacBook Air from 2020 that came at a bargain price because the edges were a bit chipped and the screen had a minuscule crack in it. I reviewed the computer a bit on my Instagram. The bottom line is that I love it—especially the processing speed and the quality of its graphics. It’s by far the most intelligent computer I’ve ever owned. When I begin writing my novel-length projects again, I’ll use the free trial of Scrivener and I’ll see if I prefer it to Google Docs. I’ll provide updates on that when the time comes. For now, I’m just grateful that I can have a new computer, because my old one was wearing out.
Toward the end of July, I went on vacation with my family. Among other things, I hiked on some gorgeous trails and toured a lighthouse. Here are a couple photos from the lighthouse:
It gave me some inklings of inspiration for the next draft of my WIP As Elysium Ordained. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, AEO is my adult speculative horror novel set on Lake Superior. I’ll let that inspiration simmer for now…
As July winds to a close, I’m reminded of how August has always been my favorite month. It has a heartbreaking and dreamy atmosphere all at once—fitting for a romantic like me. August also shares a name with my favorite song (which is, as you might have guessed, by Taylor Swift). I’ve had a pretty productive summer, and all in all, I can’t wait to see what August 2024 has to offer me!
farewell
Thank you so much for reading to the end of this newsletter. I can’t describe how grateful I am for your readership. If you enjoyed this issue of Musings, you can do the following to support me and my writing:
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Comment a word to be etymologized in a future newsletter :)
GOODBYE. A salutation in parting, from godbwye (1570s), a contraction of God be with ye (late 14th century), influenced by good-day, good evening, etc; a noun since the 1570s.
Good morning, good afternoon, or good night, whenever this finds you—
Calliope